Archive for October, 2008

Decoys?!?!

Tuesday, October 28th, 2008

For the record, it did not escape my attention that tonight’s episode of “Chuck” introduced a character, played by the inimitable Tony Hale, who went by the name “Emmett Milbarge.” The show also once featured a listening device with the serial number GLG-20, another Spies Like Us reference.

As best I can figure, this means the CIA is sending signals through my tv to let me know I’m actually a secret agent and am needed on an urgent mission to save the world.

I shall act accordingly.

Not one to put on your resume

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

I was reading some cases the other day and ran across this item from a decision from a few years ago. A man in New Jersey was charged with threatening some judges and others involved in his criminal prosecution. He made a sort of hit list, with the judges noted along with “4. The fat girl.”

At this point the court added a footnote: “The government presented evidence at trial that ‘fat girl’ was a reference to A.U.S.A. [Name].” Except the court actually used her name! That is not the way I would want to be immortalized in the Federal Supplement. And I wonder what evidence the government used to prove that fact.

Need a rap name? Go to Lowes.

Tuesday, October 14th, 2008

If I ever decide to become a rapper, (pause, to allow Milbarge to stop laughing) my rap name will be home improvement store inspired. The current top 5 candidates are:

1: T-Nut
2: U-Joint
3: C-Clamp
4: Edge Router
5: Sawz-All

Inventor’s Corner

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008

Someone needs to invent a computer keyboard with a back that slides or pops off, so you can shake out the dust and crumbs like a toaster.

Somebody get on that, thanks.