Archive for December, 2004

"King of the Hill" Quote of the Day

Monday, December 27th, 2004

Sorry we’ve missed a couple. In contrition, here’s two from the episode where Hank’s mom brings her Jewish boyfriend to Christmas at the Hills.

Dale: “So he’s Jewish.”

Hank: “Yeah, Dale, he’s Jewish.”

Dale: “There’s nothing wrong with that in and of itself.”

Bill: “Is he funny?”

Hank: “He doesn’t seem too funny.”

Bill: “Seinfeld’s funny.”

Hank: “Seinfeld’s funnier than Garry.”

Dale: “I’ll bet Garry — Kasner, is it? — I’ll bet he’s funnier than Cotton.”

Boomhauer: “Cotton ain’t no funny at all, man… Dang ol’ POW camp… bamboo shoots… talkin’ ’bout puttin’ ’em under his dang fingernails… freak me out about that.”

Hank: “I thought my mom had learned her lesson when she had the good sense to dump my dad. But now she’s found another guy to treat her like a bellboy.”

Bill: “Whoopi Goldberg’s funny.”

Bill: “Garry doesn’t eat steak ’cause the cow is sacred to his people.”

Dale: “Nope, you’re thinking of the Hindus. The pig is sacred to the Jews.”

Bill: “I wouldn’t, myself, never join a religion that restricted my diet. I wouldn’t want to get into heaven that way.”

No comment on whether I use a lot of Bill punchlines in this series because I identify with him to a degree, as has been alleged by some. Regardless, have a happy cold weather season, no matter what animals you don’t eat.

"King of the Hill" Quote of the Day

Monday, December 20th, 2004

Bobby: “This room holds a lot of memories for me. Like that time I dressed up Ladybird in my underpants and we pretended we were Calvin Klein models.”

Do You Have a License to Carve that Turkey?

Sunday, December 12th, 2004

I’m in favor of reasonable gun control, but I don’t think I would extend it knives. Yet it looks like that’s what they’re doing in Britain. Fearful of a “knife culture,” there are now calls for searches and tougher laws. Thank goodness for neutrality, or the British would be at the mercy of the Swiss Army.

UPDATE: Thanks for all the interesting comments to what started as a throw-away post. If you’re really a knife enthusiast, or more to the point, if someone on your gift list is one, be sure to check out the Christmas Stocking Full of Knives!!

"King of the Hill" Quote of the Day

Monday, December 6th, 2004

Hank: “If Boomhauer wins his amateur race, he gets to drive the pace car on the same track as Dale Earnhart. Or, as you’d see it…Jeff Gordon. Ugh.”

Bobby: “Wow! Jeff Gordon drives race cars too?! I thought he was just a cereal box model.”