There’s an entertaining article up at law.com this morning that begins with the premise that every scary aspect of this summer’s “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” was lifted out of the law school experience:
Come on. Admit it. No matter how nice it was outside, it always was gray, drab and dull in the law library. Piles and piles of heavy casebooks or hornbooks always weighed you down physically and psychologically. You always had at least one professor for whom nobody’s answer ever was good enough. And Dementors? If you can’t name the professor at your law school voted “Most Likely to Cause Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder,” you probably haven’t recovered from your case of PTSD yet.
The author then proposes that, because Harry and friends will soon be graduating from Hogwarts, the franchise should make him a lawyer-wizard and have him negotiate various “scary” situations:
So as they say in Tinseltown, let’s take a meeting, run a few screenplays up the flagpole and see who salutes. To start, how about “Harry Potter and the Rule Against Perpetuities,” in which the gang has just days to find out whether the treasure in the vault at Gringott’s will vest within a life in being and 21 years? Is the legatee a life in being? Is it a being at all? Can Dumbledore and the phoenix re-animate our beneficiary? Can Voldemort send them off to the nether world? I’m thinking weeks of being No. 1 at the box office here, aren’t you?
Then we can go on to “Harry Potter and the Conflict of Laws,” in which Harry and Voldemort apply clashing choice-of-law principles in an epic battle to see if the decision to deny Dumbledore’s mold claim under the Hogwarts’ homeowner’s policy will hold up. Watch Hermione search the ancient lore of the Restatements for just the right incantation to help Harry in his struggle to save Hogwarts from the evil remediation contractors.
And finally, the scariest sequel of all, “Harry Potter and the Relation Back,” in which Harry must come to Dumbledore’s aid to keep the statute of limitations from running on an amended complaint.
So, I ask all of you current and budding attorneys: what frightening legal situation would you like to see Harry, Hermione and Ron magic their way out of? Comments are open.